The following was written by Hugh O'Brien, our previous Minister.

WEDDINGS

 INTRODUCTION

This page is for you if you are planning a marriage and live within Meldrum & Bourtie Parish or have a relevant discernable connection with it. .  We rejoice with you in your love for each other and your decision to marry.  Below you will find all the information you need plus answers to frequently asked questions.  At the bottom of the page you will find contact information.  Scroll down to read all sections.  Please remember that Church weddings are not necessarily lavish affairs and your wedding in church can be just as special  while small and simple in nature. 

 
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

The first question you, as a couple, ought to ask yourselves is whether you want a Christian marriage or simply a place in which to be married.  Church is more than a beautiful setting for a ceremony, it is a symbol of the deep and wonderful meaning of Christian marriage.  It is vital for couples planning to be married in the church to understand that Christian marriage implies a belief that God, through Jesus Christ, will play an important role in their new relationship and throughout their life together.  The wedding service is the beginning of that remarkable journey.

Christian marriage is a loving relationship between one man and one woman that was created from the beginning as described in the Bible, Genesis chapter 2 verses 18-24

“And the LORD said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him ... For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleaved) to his wife and the two are united into one …"

Genesis 2:24 is repeated in the New Testament in Mark 10:6-9 and Ephesians 5:31-32. In the latter case, Paul is comparing the marriage of man and woman to the relationship of Christ and His church – a great mystery – one that while on earth we won't really fully understand.  When something is repeated three times in Scripture it seems clear that God means for us to take notice of it.  Marriage was God's idea from the very beginning and was reinforced in the time of Jesus. Marriage, therefore, is a solemn act and a sacred relationship not to be entered into lightly.

Christian marriage is more than a civil ceremony or a legal process, although any marriage carries with it both civil and legal responsibilities.  At Meldrum & Bourtie Parish Church we believe that Jesus Christ must be made central in any marriage for it to succeed. 

Marriage is a covenant and not a contract which means there are no hidden terms, no loop-holes. In God's design, the marriage covenant is a life long covenant broken only by death.  In the fallen world in which we live, worldly pressures have attempted to dilute this covenant aspect of marriage, but we pray that to you and your partner this will be an enduring and purifying cornerstone of your relationship with one another.

Please consider all of the above when planning your future life together.  If you wish to speak more on Christian marriage contact the minister as outlined below.
    

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT WEDDINGS AT MELDRUM & BOURTIE CHURCH OF SCOTLAND

1. Can anyone be married in a Church of Scotland church?
2. Can I be married at Meldrum & Bourtie Parish Church?
3. Can divorced people be remarried in the Church of Scotland?
4. Can people come from outwith Scotland to be married in a Church of 
    Scotland church?
5. Can I ask another minister to conduct my wedding at Meldrum or
    Bourtie Church?
6. Is it true that a minister can marry a couple anywhere?
7. What should I do next?
8. What if I am marrying a Roman Catholic?

1 Q. Can anyone be married in a Church of Scotland church?
A. The Church of Scotland is 'national', in that every district has its parish church. The parish minister is willing to discuss conducting marriage for any person in parish. You do not need to be a church member to be married in the Church of Scotland, however, if you are not a church member, the minister will want to discuss with you whether a religious ceremony is what you are looking for, whether it will have meaning for you, and whether he or she agrees it is appropriate in your situation.

2 Q. Can I be married at Meldrum & Bourtie Parish Church?
A. If you reside within the parish of Meldrum & Bourtie  or have a relevant discernable connection with our Parish the minister will be happy to speak to you about your wedding request.  A connection may mean that at least one of the two of you live within the parish; or you have relatives living within our parish; or you perhaps grew-up here but now live elsewhere. As the parish is busy the minister regrets that he cannot conduct the weddings of couples with no connection with our parish, for example those coming solely to be married here.

3 Q. Can divorced people be remarried in the Church of Scotland?
A. Marriage is not understood in the Church of Scotland to be a sacrament.  The minister may therefore conduct the marriage of a divorced person whose former spouse is still alive. The minister, however, will wish to be certain that problems which gave rise to the first divorce are not likely to be repeated. The future well being of children from the first marriage is also taken into account. The final decision rests with the minister.

4 Q. Can people come from outwith Scotland to be married in a Church of Scotland church?
A. Yes, this is possible. Marriage in Scotland takes place under Scots Law, and those people who satisfy its requirements may be married. To be married in Meldrum & Bourtie Parish you must have some form of relevant discernable connection with the parish as outlined more fully above. In all cases, the minister will wish to interview a couple before agreeing to marry them, so that he or she is satisfied that a religious ceremony is appropriate.

5 Q. Can I ask another minister to conduct my wedding at Meldrum or Bourtie Church?
A. The short answer is "No".  As this is a Parish Church it is the parish minister's responsibility to conduct weddings and, along with elders, provide follow-up pastoral care to couples  within the parish.  If you have a relative or friend who is an ordained minister and you wish them to take part in the service discuss this with the minister.  The minister will, however, remain responsible for and will conduct the marriage ceremony.

6 Q. Is it true that a minister can marry a couple anywhere?
A. Yes it is, however it is the norm for weddings to be conducted in church.  If you live within the parish but wish the minister to conduct your wedding at another location, such as a hotel,  speak to him about this at an early stage.  Any location must be be seen to maintain the dignity of a Christian marriage ceremony and decisions will be made on an individual basis.   You may wish to know that, as an alternative, it is now possible for civil weddings to be carried out by registrars outside Registry Offices in approved venues.

7 Q. What should I do next?
A. It is important to arrange a date with the minister before making other arrangements. The local registrar should be approached not more than three months and not later than a fortnight before the date of the wedding. The intention to be wed will be displayed at the Registrar's Office and, if no objections are lodged, a marriage schedule will be issued, which must be produced at the wedding for signing. The minister will not be able to conduct the marriage ceremony in the absence of this schedule. This is then returned to the Registrar's Office who will then issue the marriage certificate.

8 Q. What if I am marrying a Roman Catholic?
A. This is not in itself a bar to marriage in a Church of Scotland church, provided that your fiancé(e) is happy with the marriage service used by the minister. It is probably wise to discuss your plans with your own priest, so that you will be aware of the implications of your decision.

THE CHURCH AND THE LAW OF THE LAND

The current legal requirements for marriage in Scotland are set out in the Marriage (Scotland) Act of 1977. The Act provides for two different types of marriage -

(i) a religious ceremony, Christian or non-Christian, solemnised by a celebrant authorised in terms of the Act; and

(ii) a civil ceremony solemnised by a Registrar authorised by the Registrar General of Scotland.

In that same year the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland passed a Declaratory Act stating the Church of Scotland's position in regard to the solemnisation of marriage, declaring that: "Marriage in the Church of Scotland is solemnised by an ordained minister in a religious ceremony wherein, before God, and in the presence of the minister and at least two competent witnesses, the parties covenant together to take each other as husband and wife as long as they both shall live, and the minister declares the parties to be husband and wife."

Both parties must be at least sixteen years of age on the day of the marriage. The official witnesses to the marriage must also be at least sixteen years of age. Proclamation of Banns in a Church of Scotland church is no longer part of the legal preliminaries to marriage.

Each party to an intended marriage must obtain a "Marriage Notice Form" from a Registrar's Office, and must send it, submit it in person, or see that it is given in, when filled in, to the Registrar for the District within which the marriage is to take place, along with the required fee and all necessary documentation as appropriate (e.g. Birth Certificate, Decree of Divorce, Death Certificate of former spouse, Certificate of no impediment for those domiciled outside the U.K.).

Normally the marriage notice should be in the hands of the Registrar about four weeks before the intended date of marriage or six weeks if either party has had a previous marriage. The minimum period of notice is fifteen days. The Registrar will then prepare the Marriage Schedule which must be collected from the Registrar by one of the parties in person within seven days of the marriage.

The Marriage Schedule must be handed to the officiating minister on or before the day of the marriage. Without this Schedule a minister may not officiate at a marriage. A minister who does is liable to prosecution. After the marriage has taken place the Schedule, which will have been signed by the minister, the two parties, and the two witnesses, must be returned to the Registrar within three days.

OUR HELP TO YOU

Once the minister has agreed to conduct your wedding ceremony we will ....

• help you choose the right date and time for your wedding
• meet with you to discuss Christian Marriage and guide you through the legal requirements pertaining in Scotland
• hold an initial planning meeting
• meet with you again (or as many times as required) to plan every detail of your wedding
• provide you with advice and suggestions in respect of hymns, readings, poems and the like
• give you advice on music photography and filming within the church
• arrange for an organist (the contract is between you and the organist and does not involve the Parish Church or the Church of Scotland)
• provide you with contact details and advice for your florist
• conduct an informal rehearsal (normally the evening before your wedding)
• provide you as a couple with marriage counselling
• provide on-going pastoral support as you start your new life together in our community

THE  MARRIAGE CEREMONY

For your guidance, here is a typical order of service for weddings at Meldrum & Bourtie Parish Church.

• Entrance of the Bride and Party
• Welcome by minister
• First Hymn
• Prayer
• Outline of Christian marriage
• Readings
• Exchange of vows
• Exchange of rings
• Proclamation of Marriage
• Aaronic Blessing (said)
• Prayer
• (signing of schedule at communion table)
• Final Hymn
• Benediction
• Presentation of husband and wife (recessional) 

 

PHOTOGRAPHY AND VIDEO

You will obviously want many photographs to remember your happy day and we will do our best to assist you in this.  The ceremony itself is first and foremost a Christian service of worship and its dignity must be respected and protected.  Flash photography during the service is therefore not  permitted.  When you sign the marriage schedule (or 'register') there will be the opportunity for guests to take a photograph if you wish.

Video operation that detracts from or gets in the way of the service is also not allowed, but there are ways around this.  If you would like a video of your ceremony speak to the minister and he will advise of the best way to do this.  You should note that, under Musicians Union guidelines, if a video recording is made the organist is entitled to request a higher fee. Guidance for your photographer and video operator (if any) can be accessed from the wedding planner detailed below.

 WEDDING PLANNER

Once you have read the above you may find a wedding planner helpful (church ceremony only).  
To download this in MS Word Format click here>  WEDDING PLANNER.doc
To Download this in PDF format (Adobe Reader) click here> WEDDING PLANNER.pdf

SUGGESTED ORDER OF SERVICE SHEETS (IF PRINTING YOUR OWN)

If you are printing your own service sheets using a computer then you may find the following guidance helpful:

To download this in MS Word Format click here> Suggested service sheets.doc
To Download this in PDF format (Adobe Reader) click here>  Suggested service sheets.pdf

FURTHER INFORMATION

You can visit the General Registrar Office for Scotland website  
www.gro-scotland.gov.uk  for more information about legal requirements for all weddings and civil weddings.