Bereavement

If you have recently suffered the loss of a loved-one you may feel desolate, alone and unsure of the future. This is quite natural no matter what age you are.  The passage below assures you of God's presence and that he knows what you are going through. He, too, was witness to his own son's death on a cross

            Psalm 34:18
            The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

When we lose someone we care for we may be feel angry towards doctors and medical staff for not preventing the death of our loved-one. You may also have times when you feel angry towards people around you, friends and relatives, towards the person who has left you, and even towards God.

You may also be carrying feelings of guilt - about things said or things left unsaid; about not saying "Good-bye" or "I love you" properly - again all perfectly understandable. If this is the case, these words of Jesus may give you comfort and peace

Matthew 11:28-29
(Jesus speaking)
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls".

Death is always a mystery; one that we will never fully understand nor come to terms with until the day Jesus promised when all will be revealed. In the meantime we take hope from the fact that Jesus himself died, was buried and rose again for our sake - the only person in the history of the world to do so.

John 3:16 (Jesus speaking)
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 11:25-26 (Jesus speaking)
"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die".

John 14:2-3
(Jesus speaking)
In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

FROM REV. HUGH O'BRIEN
OUR PREVIOUS MINISTER

My Dear Friend,

If you are mourning the loss of a loved-one or still bear the scars of an earlier loss my heart goes out to you. I, like you, have suffered loss and while yours is unique to you I'm sure that to some extent we share similar feelings.

Grief is vital in order to help you accept deep loss and carry on with your life. If you do not grieve at the time of death, or shortly after, you may keep the grief bottled up inside you. This may cause emotional problems or physical illness later on. Working through your grief can be a painful process, but it makes all the difference to our future emotional and physical well-being. The grieving process takes time and should not be hurried. How long it takes depends on you and your situation. In general though, it takes most people one to two years to recover from a major bereavement.

You may still be in the midst of trauma, particularly if your loss was a tragic or unexpected one, and you may be looking for answers.    Answers to "why" may never come this side of eternity but answers to your current need and to help you move forward knowing God's strength are available to you from Scripture. Perhaps you would take a few moments to read this passage of Scripture and some thoughts which I hope may help you at this time.

Psalm 61:1-8
1 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint;
      lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.
4 I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
5 For you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those
      who fear your name.
6 Increase the days of the king's life, his years for many generations.
7 May he be enthroned in God's presence forever; appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
8 Then will I ever sing praise to your name and fulfill my vows day after day.
(New International Version)

Difficulties in life blow over us unceasingly. These family or other troubles, sickness, loneliness, or death. We seek to find a shelter, refuge, from these storms. As they blow over us, we need to turn to one who can give us help and hope. Our adequate and abiding shelter is God. The Psalmist once said of God: "For you have been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the foe" (Ps. 61:3). The psalmist called to God in his time of need He expressed his desire and need for shelter. Physical shelters do not always give us refuge. Our spiritual shelter does. In your need now of a shelter, you can turn to God, who is our adequate and abiding shelter.

The Psalmist called out for God to hear his prayer. When we are at "the end of the earth", at our emotional and spiritual, not geographical, extremity we often find that little can help. We may feel that our "heart is overwhelmed." At such a time of uncertainty, insecurity, need, we can call to God. Our request is "Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." We need God’s protection. This may be your cry to God this day. It is also helpful to remember that our heavenly Father is there for you in sadness and in joy. He loves you and earnestly wishes your company each day of your life. Often, however, it is at times of trouble that we choose to seek him.

II. God’s Invitation & Promise (vv. 3—7)
God has given his promise that he will hear our prayer and deliver us. God has done so many times in the past. Knowing this, we are assured that he will continue to be with us. Throughout all of life we know that we have shelter and strength in Him. Jesus invited the weak and heavy laden to come to him. In your present need this invitation is for you. God gives us His steadfast love and faithfulness. Whatever you need at this time, God will stand-by you with mercy and truth. This is his promise.

III. Praise (v. 8).
‘Though it may be furthest from your mind just now, our response to this love from God is praise and promise. Just as the Psalmist was able to do in his trouble we ought to praise God for what he has done and keep our promises to Him who keeps his promises to us.

So, my friend, in this time of need turn to God and draw strength from him. As he shares his love by offering strength, comfort, hope, and help, he will prove to you in every way that he is our adequate and abiding shelter.

Perhaps you would like someone to pray for you but don’t know who to ask. We at Meldrum & Bourtie Parish Church would count it a privilege to share your difficulties in this way. You don’t need to go into lots of detail if you do not wish to, just give us your first name and give us some pointers for prayer by sharing your greatest needs. To do this now [click here]. At the foot of this page you will find a few links to other organisations who may be able to help you at this time.

In the meantime, May the LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
(Numbers 6:24-26)

Your Friend,
Hugh O’Brien

A special word about the death of a child

Children have a very special place in our hearts and the death of a child always affects us deeply. The unfulfilled promise of a young life is especially difficult to come to terms with. If you have lost a child or you were close to a child who has died you will probably be asking, "Why?" and no answer you come up with seems to really address your question or make you feel in any way more at peace. Others in your family or around you will be sorrowing too, especially any other children. In helping to comfort them you will be comforted also. At times like these it helps to help and gain support from each other. Many have found that talking through the loss, remembering and speaking about memories of our loved-one with one another helps the process of grieving and healing. It does not help to "put on a public face" and bottle things up, nor should you feel you need to do this. Always remember that our Lord Jesus had a special place in his heart for children and told us that the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. At the foot of this page you will find a link to the Bereaved Parents Network which is made-up of others who will understand what you are going through at this time.

Jesus said:
"Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name
welcomes me".
Matthew 18:4-5

Jesus said:
"Let the little children come to me, and do not
hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs
to such as these."
Matthew 19:14

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
from Paul's 2nd letter to the Corinthians 1:3-5